Upon The Dark Star

well..i have not been updating

2006-08-29T18:38:00.000+08:00

Ok...hmm if anyone interested in y i did not update ma blog....well...i have set ma mind..to a quest..=D...haah well..basically..hmm like a challenge to test ma self...well..i was thinking one day..y is there blogs..??isnt it adiary..?hmm..or wat..well...or to let poeple hear what u say...or what..?ok..if let say you want to let people see what you are saying..will they do anything for you..?well..will they..?will they ask..you..hey hafiz..hows life..?how are you..??are you ok..?..well...mostly they dun...but for those who are close to me...they do..these are true friends...that i can count on...i was thinking..do i need friends..?well may be i do..maybe i need...its just...that..its kinda complicated...cause..of the walks i use to see...cause...how i see it ...its..ridiculouse...im talking crap...im going all emo again..like wth...lets stop now...ok the bottom line...ill treasure..friends..which will make my day worth while..hahah..ok...i dunno when i will blog again...but...if you are care about me...u could talk to me..=D..it will brighten up my day.....hahhaha..im doing fine...im getting stronger

questions..

2006-08-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

I am still pondering...about taking private Os next year...imagine..NO disruption from anyone...hmm...but gona miss sum of da boys n gals...ive been thinking...bout dis bery seriusli...imagine me..studying all day n throughtout the night...n doing ma art at home...researching and studying alone...i wonder..hmmm...=D...oh wells...let see how ...hmm..Im done with ma art.im getting darker man...!!!aARGGGHH..dun wanna play ball anymore...im like blackman...shish...hmm...i think i will still play...but at night...

Bao bei...im missing u badly leh...haizz...can talk to you..??i scared lar...huhuahahah..heard some rumours lately...hmmm....im not gona believe it...ahahha...LIKE WATEVER!!!!...hahahah...man oh man...bao bei..take care ok...do well in your studies..=D

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
I MISS YOU
IM WAITING FOR YOU

obssesed..?

2006-08-10T22:59:00.000+08:00

Anata = dear

Anata im missing u badly anata...
i want to feel your hug once more anata...
Anata~..
i wanna stare at your eyes once again anata

I dont feel right when i dun see you for days let alone weeks or month .
But its now the right time yet..anata...
Anata~you are ma strength..
Anata,you are ma other half anata...

Anata,when we get back together again..
Shall we start anew anata?
Under the same full moon..??
Anata i cant wait for you to be mine anata...

Anata...ill never forget you anata...

hmm..

2006-08-09T23:25:00.000+08:00

Today..its full moon...nice moon eh..i wanna watch the moon with you..bao bei...hmm...its nicer than that..fire werk i thing...sumhow or rather,firewerk dun excite me...hmm..well..ma art werk almostcompleted...i used up sum of ma colours..hmm..oh wells...n so tomorrow im going school...haizz...haizz...ma leg still hurt...like hell...its not doing what i told it to do..haizz...may not play for the time being..bao bei...i realy realy miss you...=D...hmm..ive grown much bao bei...seriusly...hmm...wait till the time cum...

I love you
i will wait for you

hmm..

2006-08-08T21:25:00.000+08:00

well,today ma school organise a national day crap...hahha...well..i did not wanna cum as i knew it would..so boring...but i heard shes performing..so da reason i cum to school today was her..hahha..funny yar..hmm there was a bazaar in da school...i wanna support u..so i bought 2 ice cream..=)..ahakz...was getting hungry by than...so bought fried rice..guess what...its 50 cents..hhahah...bought 2...one id for me..the other is for fadhil....weeee...than getting bored play soccer..sweat like crazy...so when its time..when we need to assemble...i wanna sit athe front...as its much more cooler...hmm..i realy forget about the performance..so..the time came..for silat...WUUUUU..hafizah power leh....she was like...HAK!...waa..damn feirce sia...crazy girl...hahah..cute lar she...n i saw you leh...u were awesome...bao bei...REALY AWESOME...ahahkz..than there were da dance...they were like saking me..hafiz..go stand up..i was like...arrgh..stand up lar..cheer!!...its not like eberyday ya get to cheer..ahahah..so fun..n after that..went soccer...play..i twist ma leg so hard..its cramp..i shout like crazy....haizz....went home ..walk with fadhil n azri...they are nice people..n so we talk...personal stuff..hhaha..n here i am

are friends mere illusions..

2006-08-07T16:35:00.000+08:00

Are friends mere illusions

Have you ever wondered,why should there a need to have friends.
Have you ever wonder,why is there love..?
Hve you ever thought about ever leaving home and leaving your parents behind;your parents that cared and nurtured you when you were young

Have you ever wondered are friends a mereillusions in ones life..
Have you ever thought that after you get married,will you forget your friends..

Have you ever wondered how will your life be..if there is no friend..?
Will u gain succession easily..without all the disruption...??

arrgh..i cant keep on denying ma self..

2006-08-06T20:48:00.000+08:00

i woke like..5 30 in da afternoon..gosh...i slep like almost half a day...im exhousted...perhaps.Im feeling so down right now...omg ...damn its startin again..haizz...dun feel like doing anything..right now...haizz...

haizz..

2006-08-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

all i want..is u...

haizz..

2006-08-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

arrgggh..my eye...its sore...its red...n yar..its sore eye...sakit siul..haizz..well..did ma art...nak kat habiz.....haizz..well..school was ok lar...as per normal...nothing happen lately...that excite me..n made me goes wild...haizz...i juz miss you..but i cant talk to ya..i dunno why...juz cant bring ma self...even facing you...haizz...i dunno y..sia...but you know...how much and how deep...ma love for you right...maybe when the time cums...=D...

good luck for tomorrow ok..=D
enjoy yourself hor...do take care...
i love you always...i will wait for you

:D

2006-08-02T23:52:00.000+08:00

today..was ok lar..=D...ahahahkz...im so happy..well..i think..things will go on smoothly...from now..hahhaha..well..hmm...let me see wat happen today..well..mother toungue lesson was awesome..cikgu..U RAWK!!!!hahahahha...tell freaking ghost story...wooow..bout da tree..bout da satans hang about...kinda cool...ahahahkz...well...*ma hands is tired...feel so heavy when typing*..hmm..ma class is kinda cool when everyone get along..haizz..its kinda fun..hahahha..well..i saw her..n gib her a smile..haizz....she...she look so ....angelic..if theres like a word for it hahaha...haizz...juz cant describe iit..haizz..but nvm..well after school when to eat..at teh tarik..i tot wanna go wif ain n gang go `syiok`....but she cant made it..ahahakz..aper lar ain..maybe next time..yar...we could eat chiken chop..its nice ya noe..hahah....u should try it..accompany raffian bank...to withfraw cash...n raplace a card for him..haizz..than..went home..take sum stuff n go..to school...ma MP3 SPOIL SIA...ARRGRGGHHH...haizz...dunnno wat to say to dad...hahah..1 mth only n it spoilt..haizz...nvm lar...hmm..reach school..saw.. akmal in da field..watch them play at first...but i couldnt help it but to kick da ball..hahah..gotten allsweaty...n sticky yucks..went to the toilet..n ...dry ma self up..with raffian..n continue to do art...i am so exhousted...after art meet the BBV n clarey...at the canal ...talk crap...i laugh ma ass off...hahahahha...have u seen a guy..shiting up on a tree..n claiming hes a bird..hahahah..crap..but it is so funny..hahahha..n theres still alot of jokes..hahaha..i lazy to type lar...so we went home..clarey acompany me home...hhahaha...upon reaching ma home...ma fatheer ask me...where did i go...haizz..wat lar..its only 11 30..n you both ask me alreadi...haizz...wat lar...i use to reach home..about 3 or 4 in da morning...n they usuali doesnt crap around..haizz..people change...ahahkz..well..n hear i am...about to end ma blog...oh yar...im wearing tapered nitey clothes..its damn tight..ahahkz..

BAO BEI..GOOD LUCK OK TOMORROW...
ILL BE SUPOTING YOU...by afar...

I LOVE YOU...I WILL WAIT FOR YOU

wow..

2006-08-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

well..today was ok..i guess...i did have fun..first period was M.t...cikgu mardiana so nice..ahakz....well..i think she care alot for us..well..she gave us a n assignment..i wanna show her that i can do a splendid job...after that it was chemy..kinda tired but..still follow throughand than it was p.e...WEEEEE...i thought i was gona take ma shuttle runbut..NOOOO!!..the other group of guys took..their napha..i was abit dissapointed..but than..it was captains ball...HUHHAHAHAHAH..well..wilson was on ma team..i dream that damn ball so hard at him twice...HAHAHAH...i let out ma frustration on him n some other mates...hahah..like tien wan(my gay partner)..haha..and many more.....the rest of da periods were ok lar...hmm..went home pack ma boots clothes...towel..shampoo..soap..hahahha...well...after the soccer match i wanna take a shower..n do ma art...hahha..well..i didnt play at first..well..i come late..than there was a substitution..i took it..well..play liek crazy..n ma leg get stiffen....DAMN!...than i ask for a sub..wait for the socond half..i play for khusni team n old mates..i mark sithu like crazy..got tackle..fell like a big rock..ahhaha....wooow..feel so high after that..haha..azri tackle me..WEEEE....hahah..n a few more..i think that khushni suck like hell..so wat if u can score 2 goals...u can even shoot a panalty..damn u...haizz...haizz...getting tired...

I always...n forever will..always..think..of you...

i love you...i will wait for you

i was so stupid

2006-07-31T22:37:00.000+08:00

arrggh...lets talk about da negative thing that happen today...well..i was late..i destroy a government prperty..toilet roll thingy...i hurt ma elbow..its bleeding like crazy..i act stupidly infront of her...i did not talk to her...i ignore her...*slap ma forehead..damn was i stupid...or yar..ma bro juz have a minor motorcycle accident..:(

and now lets talk about good stuff..well..i pass ma eng test...i ace ma math test...i beat iryan in both test...well..ma art gona be completed soon..i saw her..shes so close to me..hmm..begining to think that ma parents are nice...wat stupidity am i talking bout..i chilled out at last...tomorrow got match..=D...im playing..in second half..maybe..or else i wont be nice...

AARGGGHH...well...its not that i dun wanna talk to you...im dying to talk to you...juz to hear u speak..bao bei...haiz..ahakz..so complicated ar...but its a small thing..haizz...hahahah..nvm than

bao bei...i love you...i will wait for you...

who is bucket man..??

2006-07-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

i was wondering..n still pondering....bout sumthing..i wonder..if..if...i...arrrggggghh...forget it...damn..well today was ok ..i guess..argh..this sentence always pop out from my head..every now and than...``if i love u..will u love me the same``...haizz...this morning...i went breakfast at teh tarik..i wait for venice..VENICE!!!...where are you...i wait for you leh...haizz..nvm..go eat alone..ahah..than went to school..do art..n it was about 11 plus...when shikin arrive..n told me..bout the sick mama..who show them the stick...wuuts..hails the black stick...ahahah...well...i was bored..n so i i watch them(ain,amalina,ayu,shikin) dance wuuts...sexy sia...hahah..i was enjoying ma self when i was shhoed away by ain...haizz..so i went up...theres jon n bao xi..=D..my old classmate..well we talk about guys stuff ya noe...girls..sexy legs...n..*i will not reveal much details*...ahakz...than..went down again..talk to them..at first we head bang...hahah..well i just cut ma hair..so i cant ``feel``...ya know wat i mean...haizz..than we talk crap...hahahha...i got such imaginative mind...haizz..they will understand...i can think much further than some...hahah...well..im a day dreamer..i like to plan stuff...like..organise a pit...chalet...b`dae party...games...n i also like to..get out of mess...in a bad situation...i feel da satisfaction..when i succeed...principle called me a perfectionist...well..maybe..ahaha...well..bao bei..i love you..do call me sumtimes yar..sumtimes i wonder..how are you..what ya been up too lately...=D..bao bei..take care...=D...

life is great...
wait for me yar..cause i has always been waiting for you

i love you...i will wait for you

today..

2006-07-28T21:45:00.000+08:00

Ill start..with early n the morning..woke up..by maself bout 6 15...tot of going to school late...but..i cant sleep back..n so i took a bath..n went to school...the first major period was art..n it was fun..miss hoe was in a good mood..:D..I LOVE YOU MISS HOE....=D..soon after it was recess..n than it was chemy..sat beside hafizah..WEEEEE...i hate sittin next to iryan..cause he is a pain..in da...you know where..its hard to study when im next to him...haizz...n than it was english.....school end...at 1230...wenet home..on da way home bought food...nasi bryani..n soya bean..yummy..i slip..until bout 3..than took a shower..i was sho tired...did ma art...n yada yaday yada....i was bored..so i wanted to buy a drink..n i saw da DnT students play ball..raffian fadhil n chon ghim saw...n saw we decided to play...half way through i saw u...were u watching me..??haizz...alot of thinking...hahah...haizz...school end at 9 plus..

blog..

2006-07-27T21:53:00.000+08:00

haizz...ive been thinking alot lately...i mean A WHOLE LOT...hahah..bout u..bout studies..bout ma life...where ill be...hmm..well..let me juz share bout ma plans..well..dis year im taking my n levels..k...there will be decisions after n level..that is whether i fail or pass..well if i fail..i go to ite..n..ill get a course...n pursue it to poly...while studying there right..ill get a part time job...ill save it....n affter ns..ill go to america...where...ill werk there see da life...maybe i would like to learn a thing or two over there..n when i cum back..make a business...open a company or restaurant..or shop..n ill invest...n than...when i gain success..ill marry...WUUUHAHAHHAHAH......well my only goal is that..ill have da most perfect family..in da entire UNIVERSE...hahha..oh yar..ive cut ma hair...WUUTS...haha..friends say..that..it look da same..hahah...well its not...!..hhahah...haizz...i juz miss your companion....haizz..i miss calling you bao bei..i juz miss staring at your eyes....that always pop up from ma mind...even now...=D..ahakz...i will wait yar...=)...u too ok...u wait for me..n i swear i will neber ever let you go again..haizz...wat am i crapping about...haizz..i will stop here...

i love u...i WILL wait for you

....haizz...

2006-07-26T22:11:00.000+08:00

well..i found out that..i could paint..wakkaka...haizz...haizz..certern things..ill keep it to heart...haizz..cause my questions..shall be answered by no one..other than me...

i miss her badly...real badly...

i love you...i will wait for you

....:D

2006-07-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

i feel like making a wish.....i wish upon the dark star...SHES MINE FOR ETERNITY...haizz...im crapping...im jus tired...well..lazy perhaps...haizz...i tot of doing ma art...not sleeping....haizz...well..im juz bored..with colours..i know i can paint..but gosh..i will make it in time..

haizz..well..lets make our wish come true shall we...the time will pass real quickly...

i love...u..ill wait for you

hmm..?

2006-07-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

ART!!!..WEEEE!!!...getting crazy over art...but its ok...should finish by the end of this week...n multing board...muz chiong alreadi...=D..ahakz..everythings so fine....=D..ahakz..im so happy...well today i went to ma grandmum house...help to carry things...n massage..them...weee...well..i juz wanna see them..n ya know..have a good time with them..treasure each n everyone you love..before they are gone forever...that sentance always struck me.....well..shall not elaborate it..i feel so high..with this concept in mind..no one owe me a living...ill get strong..i swear i will..no joke...hmm..well..im just gona share a dream of..i had this morning..about her...i dreamt that...i was waliking down sumwhere with her...we had a same pendent..she say she love me..n will neber let me go again...how i wish it will be true...=D...

i love u...im waiting for you...

life..ive ever had...

2006-07-21T21:58:00.000+08:00

WEEEE!!...been great lately..dis pass few days..i like da pressure...well..on wednesday..i did not sleep...not even a wink..im tired larr...did ma art...n continue till da next thursday..that is..the next day..ahaahkz..huh..?wat..?im crapping..??hahah..watever...well i peirce once more..cause..i find that theres a lump or sumthing in it...i got scared n i peirced...hahah..ooo...gerik...but..i got ta close it..once more...cause....haha...u all dun need to know...its for....hahahah...yesterday...cher cry...miss hoe..i love you..i realy do....ill try ma best to complete yar...end of year must hug you...you are da greatest...n today friday...i was sent to da VP!!!i was frustrated of maself...ya wanna know..y..?i was sick n damn tired of da office...haizz...cikgu...me sorry lar...i guess its an emo thing...ahahahkz...ill get ma werk done..yar...dun worry...

I LOVE YOU!!!!!....IM WAITING FOR YOU!!=D

....i feel like crying

2006-07-18T21:06:00.000+08:00

haizzz.....im exhousted.....dear god...u know what had happened jus now..u know..how much i miss her...haizz...

god..hear me..

2006-07-17T22:19:00.000+08:00

God..hear me..well...im happpy with life god..i guess..well..i understand....maybe..there is..sumthing u want me to see...well..tanx god..god could u gib me strength to finish ma werrk..:D...

2006-07-11T17:15:00.000+08:00

Crap...i just met her..her name..helena.Its ok..i gues.i thought u wanted to be ma fren..i thought u wana hear ma pain..guess you are not..u talk to me when im bored..??huh..??whats that suppose to mean..?u used me..?im sick of that...IM NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON!!!i treat each of ma fren..da same..like ma bro n sis..n u did dis...gosh..im thingking that...all this years..is friends realy worth it.....arrgggh crap...

....haizz..why..

2006-07-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

Dear god..just lend me your ears...i never asked much in life...i dont need a high profile life...or what so ever..i have good friends...that i have never ever dreamt of having...friends that always have listening ears...im coping well in ma studies..actualy..but theres sum problem with ma art..:D..it suck..i know...all i wanted in life was a companion...for the rest of ma life..i want that someone..not even once think about leaving me..and to love me with all her heart...and i alone is cherished by her...and not shared by someone else..in return...i shall shower her with gifts...with love..with desireble passion..n loyalty...is that too much to ask..???God if u can hear me..please..PLEASE..answer ma prayer...AMEN...

ill wait for you...

haizz...

2006-07-07T22:56:00.000+08:00

I tink i understand what is happening..thats wat i think.....God damn it..it awas ma match..n i was about to play once more..n than...gosh......he told me bout u...and sumone..i despise so much..hm.....ARRGGGHH...talking about its...I feel like crap...but..i ask him..he denied it..what can i do...i have no prove...what there to prove hafiz..???your strngth..?your power..??your sick thoughts...i just want answers...not dis way...not by other people but by you...i shall not elaborate further...i dun wanna cause any harm...jizz...

pissed...

2006-07-06T20:20:00.000+08:00

LIKE OMS!!!everythings shity dis few days...yesterday i got pissed..i mean literally...man oh man...i score da first goal..but that doesnt mean anything...AARRGGGHHH...not doing well...lately...n today was DA WORST..damn...sent to da principle office...she talk crap..i talk crap...F U...miss hoe..i appreciate..everything u have done...from da start...but...this..time..i cant make you proud...i wana take O level..but gosh da art gib so much stress sak...ARRRGGGHHH....see art...stress...see her..lagi stress...arrrggggghhh...after school went home..than cum back again to get ma art stuff...so i was planning to stay all night..n than when i reach there...i took out all ma art stuff..so was drawing..n so i wanted to do sumthing to ma art...like expand..it..im not a pro man..gosh...than i ask her..how..?than she was like..attitude sak...i didnt even show ma slightest temper...than i pack ma beg...n went straight home...i scream ma ass off...i puch da wall...i pucnh ma cuboard...i bang ma head..at the mirror ...ARGGGGHH!!...ARRRRGGGGHHH!!only than i feel much bettter...I smoke...take on good hell of a puff....n dude..it was kinda relaxing..n giddy too..hahahah...well..than i went to sleep...woke up...during evening..gosh..well..its just that..its not been da same...since..u..well ya know...haizz...ill be waiting though...love u always..

....dear..y..??

2006-07-05T22:04:00.000+08:00

I sms u..yesterday night...hmm..checking out on ya..i did not reply..hmm..y is dat so senorita..??ya bz..?sleeping...??i saw u dear...i was about to gib ya a smile..but..u turn away..n ignore me...i couldnt do anything...bare a grudge..?no...no way...girl...if you are free...call me yar...ill wait for you...i just have 1 hour of sleep..:D...i keep on thinking of u ma dear girl..oh yar thanx fadhil...youre da greatest...ill keep ma cool man...

i will always love u...
i swear....

helana..oh helena ..

2006-07-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

Helena..oh helena...
Where can she be...
Oh sweet helena...
Please come back to me..

I cant find you..
Im forgetting you..
Why all of this is happening..

Its ok if you are not there for me..
Its ok if u do not want to see me...
its ok..
Ill just carved a smile for you to see

I am here waiting..
Oh sweet helena.

Dear god what is wrong with me..
Why doesnt my sweet helena achknowledge me..
Why..doesnt she..
why doesnt she come back to me...

crap

2006-07-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

FUCK...ive been crapping in da toilet the whole morning...n after noon...man what did i eat....got alot of thigs to do today..but damn....so weak...haizz.....

Fairy tale

2006-07-01T11:46:00.000+08:00

I've forgotten how long it has been
since I've never again...
listened to you telling your beloved fairytale
I've thought for a long time
I start to panic have
I done something wrong?

You said to me with full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
You said I love you ever after
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

You said to me with full of tears
Inside the fairytale are all lies
I can't possibly be your prince
Maybe you can ever understand
You said I love you ever after
The stars in my sky has lightened up

I'm willing to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe believe
that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I want to be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

I will be
that angel you love inside the fairytale
Spread up my hands
become the wings to protect you
You must believe
believe that we can be like that in the fairytale
prosperity and happiness is the ending

Let's write our ending together

2006-07-01T00:18:00.000+08:00

Experience the nightmare of my desire.
The stars glisten with my blood.
I call unto you.
I deny your faith
Live in the face of emptiness, yet You survive the details
. I embrace your desire, And elevate violence to a sacred deed.
You equip for immortality:
I reap your soul for eternity

Thursday

2006-06-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

Well started off..dis morning...gosh..woke up..early in da mrning at 6...i was like asking ma self...school..or not to school...haizz..lazy...but..weak mind wont go anywhere...rite hafizah..?:D..thank you...well... so..i bath..n went to school....pack ma beg..n off i went...to school...humming some dark soul melody..OOOOO...jump start ma early morning...i didnt..walk..to that..line...i took the other route..i dun wanna see her..but..arrghh..i dunno lar....it just that...its mix emotion...its like...so confusing i ma self dun understand...when i look at her...sumtimes..ma heart will leap with joy...n sumtimes..haizz..god only knows...haizz...well..started class... it was normal.....but art...OOOOO....gerik...haizz...off i went home..took ma boots..than bath...than off went training..i went to the kantin first..n...yeah...:(....its ok i pressume..:D..things will get better in training..i hope..than..10 rounds around da field...ok lar...but half way through...sakit perut sak...but nvm continue training..n than..we learnt to form formation...F U...khusni...let me play...ill show u..what i could do..ill show u where is ma limitation...my will..to show im worthy...i didnt get to play da match..khushni..F U...so i was at da side..i was getting bored n teach da new boys to kick..its ok...youll get better...ma kick arent that good too..went to teh tarik to eat..talk..chat...haizz...than went home...the cloud was nice...the view was magnificent..dark greyinsh black clous coverred half of the red cresent moon..nice rite...n here i am..:D...

i miss you....

...i couldnt help it..

2006-06-27T21:39:00.000+08:00

*sobz...i couldnt help it..i cry again...wtf..??i went out..to buy ma malay book..at popular...jurong east...there were a dark spot...where i could sit..n watch the field...n watch the cresent star...n imm....i was like listening to ma songs...OOooOo..i sat there thinking..well..yar.. a drop..of tear fell..than..i quickly wipe it off...n continue to walk...took da buss 335..stop exactly infront of ma house...i went inside ma room.....off ma light...scream ma ass off...hell yeah it feels good..gosh...i juz couldnt help it....i ....n....h....

u make me strong..

2006-06-26T23:07:00.000+08:00

WAKAKAKAKKA...HAILZ to whoever is reading..school..was ok...gosh..mr fong...i love you..you are da best...muackzz...wakkakak...i cut ma hair for nothing....damn u....school neber check..i got running nose..than..sore eyes...damn...after i get ma daily dosage of vitamin c...WUUUUHUUUUU.....hype sak...oh yar..juz now..when i was sleeping...when i woke up during evening..i heard somone called ma name...scary sak..but hahahah..aiyah...fear..?fear is sumthing which u have to stand against......n...desire...and all da weak emotions...are things that pull you down...i wont let dis things bother me..:D..i shall wait for you though...at the end of it...ill prove to you..that i am worthy..hmm...n level is coming..i shall study hard..C`MON IRYAN!!!!STUDY WITH ME...U DAMN PIS OF SHIT!!...WAKAKKAKA....haizz...cannot sleep lerr...haizz...back pain...massage me..?u owe me..

i carved my ring to remember the story about you and i

2006-06-24T23:40:00.000+08:00

*sobz...i cant stop crying...hmm..I dunnoe why im crying for..i dun cry that easily...i was eating..juz now..n than..i tought of her..ahakz..i was wondering,have she eaten..?is she sick..?is she ok..?n than..when i was eating..ma tears drip..my parents..saw it..n they asked me why..i told them the food was nice...they laughed n they called me silly...what do u expect..??u want me to tell them..everything..JEESSSZZ...n so..i stop eating...i went to the loo..than..i vomit..all the food been trown out again..haizz...no apetite to eat....feel so alone..i kept ma self occupied..by making a poem...than come a song...well...i keep on crushing..the papers...no inspiration..no...feelings..the day before yesterday..i dreamt about her..leaving me..n i was chasing her...n...than..i woke up...ma eyes were wet...ma bed were wet...gosh...n than today..i draemt bout ma teeth..getting lose..n..i woke up about 4 in da afternoon..i ask ma fren..ma fren says....`tande kau nak mati`...i was like...eh..?oooohh...in ma heart...i was like..asking is it worth to die juz yet...shes not mine yet...n so..i put that aside...i assume..there will be death in ma family...dis dream..happens 2 years back..when ma favourite uncle died...god bless him...n that time..was the time i cry ma heart out...ma friends were there..all of them...so many..to console me...tanx guys...i will remember u all..

i will wait for she..for she is ma happiness...no matter how long or hard it may be..i will wait...

guys n girls..

2006-06-23T00:11:00.000+08:00

Hey hey...guyz n girls..just leave akmal alone..for now..k..i act rashly..i did..well..yar i did..i admit..im jeolouse..I tink its time for you all to know bout ma background a lil bit..well..im usually all alone..ma frens are no longer in school..im in a different class..n. its a new environment n so on n so forth..well..its hard.i need sumone to depend on..cause i have none...well,at first i have F...as ma pal..ma buddy..sum1 that i can talk..but sumting happen..i dun wanna u to be sad...n so..F started to avoid me...well...its kinda hard at first..but i have u..ella..u were ma strength..ma pillar..so..wat happen is that..i started to `feel` that..sumtings wrong..i dun mind actuali..cause..as long as youre with me..youll be back to your old self...hmm...my concept of thinking is that..fate is in my hand..i can do what ever i want...i was denying gods power...so the break up thingy happen...i read..i was in total mix of emotions...shocked,sad,angry,confused...i need to blame..sum1..so..wat my eyes..see..is..you..akmal..i felt angry..disgusted by you..cause..im following..my `nafsu`...i saw..you both..i saw..happiness between both of you..you WERE bery close...n ofkorse i felt jeolouse..c`mon who wont..because..what i see is dis..since..u..were close to her..i began to feel...that..well..ella not herself...hmmm..y is that so...??n i kept thinking..y now..??y da break up..??hmm well..its her choice..she chose..it..its hard for to except at first..but ya noe..things will be ok ...time will tell..i cant deny i hate you..:D...well..i cry till today..but than i think..if i did what i suppose to do to akmal..is it worth it....is it worth..to heal da pain..i dun think so..i respect her decision..so i will leave her alone..for the mean while..hmm..dun do anything to akmal...let him do whatever he wants...thats fate...n fate doesnt belong to me...its `him`..n so..akmal..i..hafiz..would like to apologise...dis sound stupid...i would neber do dis to anyone..well..for her..im apologising..for causing..a lil chaos..dun worry..i wont touch u..but..u..should know whens your limit..i cant scold you..i cant do anything..for now..i dont have the power...but there a limitation where i cannot stand....ill just wait....wait...n see what will happen...

fade away

2006-06-21T13:46:00.000+08:00

Alone in the dark room;
Far away from reality.
Hoping this is all a dream;
Just a mere fantasy.

The days that i had;
The seconds we spent.
The smile that u brought to me
Will always be my strength.

Although youre gone;
You,my angel no more.
For what is seems that im alone once more.

You whom i cherished;
You whom i love.
You chose to leave me.
I`ll wait,till you are mine once more

Though the pain is unberable;
I guess it is ok.
Atleast i have you in my arms
I wont lose you again

Please my angel;
Please me love;
Please i beg you;
Dont ever once again fade away

senyorita..

2006-06-20T16:09:00.000+08:00

Why now..?why now than u do dis to me.Do u remember the starting of our relation ship?why cant u talk to me bout dis..?if u were too scared,Why do still go on with me...i have alot of question to ask...I CRY for you...dont u even care..how i feel...hmm well..it seems that your bestie is everything for you right now eh...*sobz*...ill die without..you..i was shocked to get your email...u was da only gerl...whom i respected..u were different...u were my `bao bei`....sorry not gona solve anything....well..who cares bout me anyway rite...who am i..im just garbaged...that u can dumbed me..anytime...right..?y..?.....*sobz*....well...go with your bestie..can he love you..the way i do..??......can he take ma place..??*sobz*.....why would i hate u after breaking up..??....why....should i...after all the promises...ive made..u uve made...i...am...speechless...

The night ske is red

2006-06-14T19:14:00.000+08:00

Why is the night sky so red last night;
Last night,i had a sad dream;
I was crying and cuddling
With tears in my eyes

I think i lost my way again;
i felt alone once more
such selfish thoughts
Thats why i have a sad dreams

wat strange dream...

2006-06-14T18:45:00.000+08:00

I dreamt bout ma mum...juz now...well tell u the story first...cause...i dun wanna forget it....i was at use to be workplace...where people is eating..there was ma mum..ma small bro...n few others...i was like the star for the da day..than..suddenly..i bring ma mum to a playground..to chat...than suddenly...this few boys were skanking...around...so i thought..such wankers...doing those stupid stuff here...so i told ma mum..ignore them...a window shattered..than there was a fight...between abang syed....n sumone...than...bottles..broken...than suddenly..i saw this woman..and than...she stab me..so here comes the scary part...usualy...in a dream when youre hit..you eventually..like automatically waken up..but...dis wat happen..when i open up ma eyes...i sense..the star become clouds...the moon becomes the sun..the evening becomes the morning..the feeling...is so scary...i feel so lonely...i suddenly felt..this feeling..sumone very very close to me...is gone...i dun like dis feeling...gosh...I CRY...I CRY..so much sadness drowned my emotions...well...i dunno what happened...till now...i feel so different..its..like..i juz cried out my whole heart last night...In da morning..i visit...ma uncle graveyard...well clean da place..my mummy..read some..lines..n i put some flowers..:D...i miss him...very very much...i cant believe i cry..

fuck it

2006-06-01T09:38:00.000+08:00

Some time i wonder....is my life suck...fuck..ma mum was like saying to me...hey hafiz you can get ya hp...tomorrrow...dat is today..and i was like...yay..hoorar...yipey...n all those kinda thing..but than...ma fucking bro...did stupid stuff...yes i want you to know...the stupidness of ma bro...he sign a fucking contract...he was like saying that he could pay...eh please lar...he cant afford some of the things i could buy...u damn it..well the main thing is..hes been cheated of interest of over more than 2 k...!!!how stupid can he get...he was like..saying...i want u to imagine a dumb ass monkey saying this..`arr....i can pay...ma money..what...i can pay..`....i was like sitting at the living room disgust by him...screw him...the thing is...he chose a 2nd hand motor which is like fucking 4 years old...n the condition of it was like fuck..ma oh-so-thoughtful-parents care bout him...so fucking much n ignore ma hp..they promise..they gave me fucking high hope...now what should i say to frens...i could get a fon by ma own...but i cant risk it...oh yar...i will continue the stupidness of ma bro...he once fucking over use his hp bill to fucking 800...like what the fuck...???!!!hey guys n gals...n ma parents...im not like him ok...i can outwit him anytime...i want..if i want to...oh mum u think giving me money can change ma mind..???!!think fucking again...i was like sitting at da fucking sofa..n she was like nah 50 buck u go n spend...what the fuck...money cant solve everything mum...dumb ass...arrggh..went to drink yesterday with frens...let out ma stress...reach home late...with sufi n shahmi..dude..miss da old....well gona talk bout one of ma fren....hes quite close to me..so i wont say his name...we`ve been like frens for like 8 years...n...during our primary school time..we were like nottiest thing alive...went home late..hahah...for what..?play counter strike...wakkakak...da thing is...me n him...we have the same thinking...although sometime...we would like...`huh..?wtf u say..?``...hahah...hes a great guy...hmm yesterday...he called me...saying..this..`Hafiz..pompan aku kene kan aku alik sak`...dude...i know how u feel...i know u went through alot wif her...u screw her..u get her pregnent..n u abort the baby...she buy dis n dat for u...i know man...i went through dis before...well im gona share ma story with ya all..bout ma pass...i got dis ex girl fren...name sabrina...well i screw her...she missed her period for sometimes..n she used me...that time i was willing to sacrifise everything for her...my gang life....ma dikir barat...n im willing to sacrifise ma time...can u imagine every single day with out a miss i meet her..i buy for her food...dude its not cheap ya noe...using ma everyday allowance...bought her dis bought her that...she ask me to wear watever clothin..like into trend...so i bought..than i wear juz to please her...the thing bout her...shes a bitch..i wasted ma fucking life with her...1 year 6 mth dude...can u imagine..???but the thing is she isnt pregnent..like wtf ..!!she used me...she threatened me...fuck u..when i think back rite bout that sad life..i was like...what...i did that...??guys n gal...if u were to have a girl friend or boyfriend...please do take care of her...stay out of your sick mind...right now..my love life great...i have a gerlfren named salsabella...shes everything to me...right now...bao bei...i promised at the end of the year...youll be surprised to see me..ill be taking u some where...special..but for now lets keep it a secret...

Well for now...i think ill be delaying in buying ma hp...so for now..i trust whom i love...n cherish...ma gerlfren...n ma `bro`...well...dude...out..

am i getting soft..

2006-05-26T22:15:00.000+08:00

Haizzz...im getting soft...dude...wheres my rage?wheres `Sakai`?i need u now...come back to me..im getting weaker...im sad...by the pathetic morons...that..pick a fight on me...i could fight back...all of them...im not scared...but sumthing hold me back..why is that...am i scared..??i dun think so...i fear only few..i will named them...`salsabella`...=D..height....gays...transversite...hmm..n da fear of being alone...thats what i fear most....i dun mind pain actually...but ya know...when i feel pain...i would juz tell ma bao bei...cause..i crave for her attention...i feel that sumtimes...i feel so alone...so alone...that sumtime...ill get depressed....n than...ill get to this mood where ill stare into spaces...im getting soft...im afraid that...i cant protect her...but...ill keep that at the back of my head for now...ill brave through hell juz for her...watever it is..ill stick by her...well..in ma family..i dun get da attention...i know im like 17 but...dude...juz cant feel..da connection...wif ma family...

On the 29 may...there will be a bbq pit...i hope everyone will be enjoying....hmm...hey hey...i dun feel good being a tai long...

bitch

2006-05-21T22:28:00.001+08:00

Hey bitch...yeah u...living with ma dad...u fucking broke ma promise...wat am i to u...???an ass..???huh??!im sick n tired of u...when i get married...n i succeed in life..i swear i wont b like u...PROMISE ARE MEANT TO BE KEPT!!undastand..???*sob sob*bitch...u dunno how i feel...u dont...oh yeah..u freaking dwarf...im gona kill u....juz u wait...till da right moment...than im gona strike...oh u......im gona explode...seriusly...i have ma freaking fucking patience...aAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH.....

well...bao bei gona go camp...2 days 1 night..im gona miss her...love u lots sayang....take care hor...hmm...dun b notty ok..listen to da instructor n always take your medicine...aight...muackz..

bitch

2006-05-21T22:28:00.000+08:00

friday..

2006-05-19T23:54:00.000+08:00

Hmm...well today...art was like abit sucky...arrrggGGHHH miss hoe...y like that ar....i sad leh..than malay...oo...ok ar..did quite ok...hmm than math..argh..got 36...if do properly..comfirm i got...50...haizz...sux sux....than went home...sooOOO hot...bath..oo..sedap...than sleep for a while...than wake up..siap siap...nak go meet bao bei...ahakz..:P bao bei...haizz...i ingat kul 4....hahah...i siap siang-siang..nak jumpe u...OOoOOo wangi...spray perfume...hahahah...sent bao bei home...got sum freaking makcik...but nvm..kish her.n bid her farewell...bath again...than wear jersey went out makn with friends..mibil...fian...andi...fadhil..n azri..than...walk...to the 99 bus stop...than talk bout ghost story..talk bout the ghost encounter..kinda scary...hahah..scare pur self out...than missed 2 buz...hahah...than went to fadhil house to take am...than i sent an to the buz stop..so tired..very tired....bao bei...im sorry....wont do it again...wont do it intentionally...i swear..i promise...neber cross ma heart..for if i lie..let it bleed...love u...always...

BITCH

2006-05-17T21:59:00.000+08:00

I hate u bitch....u say it...infront of me..n u say..yes...hell yeah ...you say yes..n now u fucking break your promise...im gona break loose alright...AARRGGGGHH...dun ever talk to me again...all hope is now lost..tanx to u...READ MA LIPS..DAMN IT...IM GONA SET LOOSE HELL...LIKE U NEVER SEEN BEFORE BITCH...ONE MORE TIME...AND DATS IT...damn...im fucking down because of u....ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!!!!FUCK IT BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.....untitled at the moment

2006-05-14T22:21:00.000+08:00

hmmm..well....this weekend...seems kinda boring...haizz..well...DUDE...RUSH UP ma prep werk...in da week end...penat seh..haizz...bao bei..sick also....`bao bei..gi makn obat`...`bao bei nanti makn obat tau`...ahhahakz...u know what i mean...bao bei..jgn notty2 lar...makn obat...k....later u get well....`its for your own good`..k lar...gtg...wanna sleep...big day tomorow..ART EXAM...

.....untitled at the moment

2006-05-10T20:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday,(writing while waiting for bus)

This is what i did for today.Firstly,today i have math examination and i think i can pass >.<...HOPEFULLY..geezZZ...its like kinda of scary but i think its worth it to send bao bei home..Hmmm..after school went home...hmm..wait for bao bei to call me de..Bao bei whhy so long~.....Than bao bei finally called...It was like so happy get to see bao bei.On the bus,198,met haniz.Didnt like saw him for along time time.N so we chat.I planned for a pit on the upcoming holiday..It will be like the old time again...Miss them alot..Friends that i will always look upon...i i always treasure.Meet bao beiand friends on the usual spot.Study 4 a while than talk to bao bei.Than met aqid,Amirah and aisyah..You all cute lar.Be good ok..Always listen to mummy...My god bless you..Baobei u bery cute lar when you giggle..Oh yar there was like this bunch of guys was like ``arrmy adik nak kenal-kenal ni nomber die``while giving a piece of paper to this group of girls..I was like what lah dey.Than at 6 o`clock need to go home..Bao bei kish me de.Than went home.Bus was like quite late as usual.I am like boon lay now.....

Today,
Finish school like 130...haiyozz late de...than bath...n get ready..mother didnt iron what i ask her to..haizz..duno how to iron clothes..bao bei...faster marry me hor...than iron clothes for me...ok..?hmmm pick bao bei at da library...aiyoh...you all hide form me....shish~...notty seh...but nvm...hmm...went to imm...with bao bei...but ma facial thing...n da receptionist was like a man with BIG BOOBIES...LIKE OH MY GOD!!!!aarrrgggghhh....n than...we walk off...giggling away...hmm...than went out..the whether was like freaking hot..hmm....than i attitude..abit...bao bei sorryhor...cannot help it lar..the whether...hot...on the way to the library meet..meet bao bei fren...hmm...no money go home..poor thing..da whole group....haiyoz...what u all spent...than..reach library liow..sis in law were..there...and than i borrow book...hmm..well...like to sit beside bao bei bah...cause she bery da teddy bear....so comfortable...shes MY TEDDY BEAR...ahakz...than purposely let bao bei read ma book so that she can flip da page...than half way through she gib me back de...:(sad abit..hahah...than i ask for a paper and pen..n so i draw...than went to da buz stop took 99...got headache de...than put ma head on bao bei shoulder...soooooOOOooOOOOO comfortable....than sent bao bei home..kish her n say bye bye.....

nightmare

2006-05-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

ArrrRRgggGGhh...woke up...early in the morning...n its like a nightmare...hmm..i had a dream that...i was at gunung ledang...n i was like with herman..n frens...i was videoing..when suddenly..dude..this pocong guy was like in da group...n...dats not all it was like in ma video camera....AAARRRGGGGHHH..than dis black spirited thing i saw...in one corner...dude...its like an awesome dream...maybe god is sending me a message..dude..im like so nervouse..n excited..felt an adrenaline rush in me....arrrrgGGGhh..n than i check out about gunung ledang in da website..n its like..ooOOooOOOOOoOOOOooOOO.....gosh...im so freaking...excited...maybe i can see hang tuah over there...n fight him...:D...or da putri gunung ledang how..pretty is she...hmm...but cant compare to MY baobei lor...cause ma bao bei is da most preeeeTTiiieessst...cuuuutteeessst...arr..hmmm `fiiiiiiiiieeeerrrrcccceeessst`....of all...ahakz...I love u bao bei...hmmm good luck for your test hor...luck luck luck...if can sleep early ok...muackz....

today..

2006-05-05T18:23:00.001+08:00

Yesterday night uncle ask me to come to his house..to teach Nurul...division de...haiyozz...hmmm tired but..keep on going...than baby ikmal come n disturb...hahah..so cute de...than hungry yesterday..so buy chicken rice at Rex...tha chicken rice stall...quite nice...da chicken bery nice but...da rice not nice...still eat..hmm...than continue to teach...talk talk to uncle..than go sleep..wake up at 5 30 de..bath..than uncle angry..cause i bath 30 min bah..aiyoh...than he switch off da light..hey uncle u think i scared of light ar..haizz....than pack bag..get ready..than meet sayang at buz stop...reach there about 630 de..than wait for her..bery cold...hmm than sayang come...OooOo....take her go school....than went to ma classroom...talk talk...bao bei sorry hor...i drag your chair...dun scared u wont fall..im here..wont let anything happen to your right infront of ma eyes... i swear...hmm...than..exam start de...can do lor..haizz...than recess...eat laksa...yummy...than got s.s..exam...OoOOO..the teacher `pretty` sia....ahakz..did ma ss exam than sleep ....de...feel like praying in tha end neber..bao bei dun wanna pray so..i dun wan lor...haha...no lar~..went bath n sleep....woke at at 6...call bao bei...miss her leh...i got dream..someone like ma bao bei...de...than i tol her to chose either me or that guy..than she chose that guy...:(i sad de...but it wont happen lor...i love her too much de...i know it wont...rite bao bei...?love u dear...hungry alreadi..wanna eat...

today..

2006-05-05T18:23:00.000+08:00

today..

2006-05-03T19:43:00.000+08:00

Today hmm..sianzz....dude im getting biored at doing blog...hahha...well dunno y...hmm...well..today started off quite dull...english de...so borIiiIIIng....aiyoh miss tan...y u so boring ar....hmm nvm...than mother toungue...than pe...WuuUUUHuuuUU...fun but mr khusni scold me de...for what..?izzul ar...i pass him da ball n he kick like one big goon...stupid STUPID fool..luckily rebound...n neber hit the security guard whos eating...some mee...hahaha...everyone was like pointing at izzul lor...stupid...haizz...well after that kinda a dull..oh yar i hab to clean da clssroom lor..so dirty de...arrrrggghhhhu..juz my luck...muz clean dis lar..that lar...arrggghhh..not good at cleaning...hmm..haizz..than went home..take cash..than juz chill around at home...hmm...da whether nowadays bery bad de..so hot...haizz...hmm...but than went to library meet bao bei..study geo de...bunch of...goons neber study there...well they..stupidly...laf their ass out..so irritating...hate them...than went home sent baobei...home..take buz 99...ahakz...talk talk de...lurb her bery much...bery bery bery much...bao bei u ask me to sing `Tong Hua` i cannot de...but next week i sing for u hor ok...i try....hmmm than disturb sis in law...hahah...funny lar...hmm..than sent her home..kiss her bubye...than went to da buz stop...go buy plain water...thirsty...wait for da buz....hmm well...bery long de...finally reach..home..on da way home meet...sheng wei...po han brother...hair bery cool...hahahah....shake his hand than went home...pa bathing..so cannot open door...haiyozz...than here i am...waiting till 830...than study..

try to get this..

2006-04-30T14:03:00.000+08:00

Da seed that i have planted...that now blooms to become a beautiful flower...da flower that i watered everyday..never ever miss a single day..than when days has passed..a bee...a black and yellow stripe bumble bee..wanted some nector..and so the bee took some..the nector was so delicious that..he invited its friends..n soon all da nector is gone...the flower soon died...

8.55

2006-04-26T19:08:00.000+08:00

8.55 am...

Here all alone..:(..herman went to duno.HEll knows..Hmmma partner to talk gone...Herman the irritatin yet good hearted big son of a bitch....Chemistry now..Bery boring,,,Wish sayang is here..,so she can talk to me..Ain not here also,follow herman..:(...i`ll be going up on the stage for the cambodia thingy with farhana..Farhana dun worry yar.Everything gona be all right...Damn that Fucking WIlson acting cute..so irritatin...Feel like hitting him...Bao bei u still owe me one kiss de...SO boring...right now...Want to go sleep alreadi...

happy!happy!

2006-04-25T19:14:00.000+08:00

BEry happy de...lets start off from yesterday...yesteday...school was ok...than da fun part begin when...play soccer....fun de...but than...sumone had to spoil ma fun...damn u idiotic..keeper....if u know who u are...plz..plz...plz...i beg u to change your fucking attitude...ahakz...and than...i dunk some basketballs...OOoOOOO......beat that man...ahahha...than went home...oh wait...hailz to haikal for a great saves...TODAY...school was ok..math was...shiish..mrs you have patience wif us yar...than.........i have malay oral wihich was like...dude...i cant speak good malay..im sorry cikgu mardiana...after that..spent da whole afternoon wif larling de...suppose to go to da library to study de..than..those...people..who went there..to pak toh..should be bery shameful...eeeeyeerr...so irritating...than went to imm...hahah...walk there for fun..hahha..walk walk...explore..leg tired...haizz...but still continue to walk..than go find sister in law...whom we thought kat mcdonald j.e..but than..jen jeng jeng kat j.w...lak...laling stress abit...cute de...than...went to jurong west...got feelind sister in law...go alreadi...than true enaf its true..laling want to cry de....try to console her..than she shout..i was like `P**I`....haiyoo...laling...terkejut...than send laling kat bus stop..sumthing got into me...at da bus stop...haiyoz...in ma mind i was like wth are u doing hafiz...dude..than...buzz 99 cum...laling took da buz n kiss me de...*blush*....LOVE U LOTS!!!!!!!!!!

.....untitled at the moment

2006-04-23T19:06:00.000+08:00

Yesterday...finally go out wif ma laling de...very very very very happy...but sumthing happen in da middle..well...not gona share wif anyone..hmm..ma gerl look awesome..she mine people...and only mine..today...im all alone...laling neber cal me de.....:(..maybe she went out wif her parents..dun want disturb her...so im all alone at home so alone...ma pa..went fishing..reach home on monday night...well the rest went out...hugry de..neber cook..lazy go down buy food...haizz..if this o on eberyday..ill of loneliness...feel like calling ma gerl..but i scared i disturb her...hmm...argh nvm...well...two of ma close fren...attitude da past few days...nvm...i tot we could be friends...like forever...but.....haizz....luckily..for me..i have ma sweet larling...(love U LOTS)...ma frens...raffian...n da band...(dude u all rawk)...clarey...jing hui...tian wen...ma so called `gay partners`..u all rawked too...hmm..right now memorising..Tong hua...to sing for ma larlling..gona get a kiss after i sing...ahakz..:P...mush kiss me hor laling!...haizz...juz now in da afternoon vomit...haizz...eh sudenly a flashback..i got dis dream...de ja vu...haizz...tomorow gona b along day at school de...exam cuming...i muz study hard too...hmm..well..u people u study hor..hey..for all da music lovers...`The All Amercan Rejects`....is like awesome...hmm...`Paper heart` and `swing swing swing`....quite nice...juz now go youtube.com...dude..see short clips about hypnotising...its like totaly awesome...right now...im like slacking...hmm...hungry....dying...missing ma laling so much...missing ma pa too...hope bring home lots n lots of fish...:D.....hmm...so boring...rite now...i guess dats all for now...adios

wo ai ni loupo

2006-04-20T19:19:00.000+08:00

juz now ma sayang kiss me de...:D....love her so so much...she look so pretty juz now .....ahakz...dunno wat to talk..

feel like commiting suicide

2006-04-16T19:28:00.000+08:00

I dunno today will da last day...of myself...i feel like comitting suicide....i dunno i belong here...i hate ma brother...im a disgrace to ma mum...a pain to ma father....i might as well day...how i kill ma self im not sure....im still thinking wheter i should kill ma self....if i die...no more sins....no more angered....:,(....if lets say tomorow im not alive...hmm....friends..do take care of ya self yar...ayang...take care hor...jgn notty ok...dun forget ma promise....hmm if im alive...dats good..i guess...

i hete u

2006-04-08T19:00:00.000+08:00

I hate u..I hate your face...YOUR SHITTY ATTITUDE..I hate EBERYTHING ABOUT U.....if i HAVE a choice Ill definitely kill..u..dun mind living alone....whats da point...U BIG PIECE OF SHIT.....damn..im beginning to hate....whats next...violence....god...please..im not ma self...im changing back to ma old self....AAAARRGGGHHH....y do i feel this anger....its like in ma blood...its polluting me...arrghh..no can feel me...Thats it..i feel like killing...a desire to destroy..the intense pleasure when blood drips to the ground...the smell of blood that will pleased me...the agony n the cries that people screamed...for i will swear from now on...No one will defy me..No one SHALL STOP ME...

great day...great ending...

2006-04-07T20:16:00.000+08:00

Well today started out quite dull...boring...hmm....n than..it was art...:D so happy...miss hoe bring me go library...with fadhil n yuling...hmm fun..take picture...than recess time...eat...with da maly boys..not with g.r...today...hmm...cant find him...oh yar...have u tried like ice lomen tea with coffee...DUDE..OOOO~...SEDAP....hahah..i ran n spit da whole stuff out...hahah...stay back after school..till late...miss hoe bah...like her alot....hmm than meet with god pa n god ma...eat together at teh tarik...mish them leh..neber see them for a long time...than go back....tired..later call sayang...MWACK..!!LALING WO AI NI....

Been Kissed Back By An Angel...

2006-04-06T19:12:00.000+08:00

Sick today..neber go school...:(haizz...boring at home...breakfast go teh tarik makn...nothing to eat...eat cutlet rice till vomit....nabuey...Just now went to doc..doc gib mc...:Dhmm sent sayang home..:)ahaks...so fun...juz now got one girl step ma feet...pain lei...naber say sorry...nvm..athan sayang kish me lei...:P..so happy...went to grandmum house after that..mish her lei...hmm...than saw baby ikmal cute nia..grow so big alreadi..so proud of him...eat mee goreng..grand mum cook..bery delicious..than went back...now wanna go makn...love u sayang...

not ma day

2006-04-05T19:26:00.000+08:00

Early in da morning..meet ma larling...SO happy...she`s like wooow~....whenever i see her..its like..no words can describe this feeling..hmm than we go school together...bery fun...hmm..than got school start..bery boring..miss tan...haizz...sianzz...bery boring leh~...hmm than got mt...haizz...Danial screw u..i hate u man...of alll da people i hate..i hate u da most...y must u that u pis of shit..u know im damn dissapointed in you...you act like a small child...dude...if lets say u happen to find read ma blog..ill tell u this...u big pis of shit...u better clense of your ugly filthy mouth..n that your attitude suck...i think u should look at yourself...u shit...i despise..u..i hate u!!!!!..ayang i juz want u here right now...dude...hmm im still sick...haizz...:(love u sayang..LOVE U A WHOLE LOTS

dude...

2006-04-03T20:58:00.000+08:00

Today soccer training leh....wow...bery fun..not tired at all...:D....hmm...found out that..some...of those...whom i dislike...is actuali...bery good hearted....hmm...after training...slack lor...at teh tarik..eat pataya...yum yum..BUT....mak kau nak bunuh aku per chef...im like dead beat...n bery tired...but still i got math...dude...haizz...bad ending...

dude...

2006-04-01T00:14:00.000+08:00

Dude....early in the morning i woke up...7 30...guo ren call me..go makn....was very excited...cause...got feeling ayang walk pas teh tarik but...no...nvm bah....than go home...get ready to go gym..than small bro call...say sick...need to fetch...the stupid teacher say got hand food mouth disease...stupid teacher....than....haiya...need send him go doc...doc say got common cold....haiya u ar...see....drink cold drinks....after that...go home take bag..than go teh tarik...wait for eddy..while waiting drink syrup...:D....we went to the gym...for like about 2 hours...than we go to `sialan` eat roti prata...wooooOO...bery nice...go home after...that..than sleep...bery excited...cause get to meet sayang...can see u performing....the whole thing was quite ok lar...except fpr her dancing...find sayang....after the thing finish..go west coast makn...:D..see al ma friend....ma hands n feet were like shakin...dunno y...went straight home after that.....sayang....i miss u leh....cum ma home leh..bangla cum i whack him...make sure he cry...ayang...sleep early hor...be good ok....muackz..love u sayang..nite2...

for each tear drop...i see...shall replace with ma blood...i swear..

2006-03-30T22:13:00.000+08:00

:(.....dear...god..i know...ive been bad...almost...all ma life....i know...da only person who knows me inside out is you....no one else....dear god...could u help me....i dont wana lose anyone....i love u...sayang....i realy do....u ALONE.....no one else...da reason im close wif her....cause she was there for me...when i was realy down...i have no one...that was like da begining of everything...im in dept to her...shes ma best fren...ive no real fren...she was da real fren for me...dear girl...da person u see now...is not da real him...ive change....for me to change...is hard...miss hoe...farhana...were there...to console me...so dats y....sayang...plz dun cry...i want u to understand...plz...dun b dissapointed in me...cause...you both are important to me...u know that i love u alone...d

im back...

2006-03-27T16:00:00.000+08:00

wooow~~...im back...hahahakz....

haizzz...com till not werking..

2006-03-17T15:40:00.000+08:00

Sianzzz...haizz...now at guo ren house...he go shit...than i accompany him go home..hahakz...funnny nia..today at night go see ma sayang dance....ahakz...so cool....haizz..siann lar rite now...ma stomach bulging...shish...hmm cant wait to see her...later going down eat dessert....nothing to talk...:(love u alot sayang...

damn ma com spoil...

2006-03-14T10:19:00.000+08:00

Damn....ma com spoil...arggh!!...but nvm bah..later see how lar...hmm repair alreadi...but ma mum haizz..dunno one thing bout installing broadband...me too..:(hahahah..try to call da damn operator...but haizz..neber pick up da call..haizz..sianzz...later gona meet ayang...YAY!!1230...ahakz..miss u nia..yesterday go model audition at singapore shopping centre...ahakz...WOooHOO....nervouse man...i scared...but nvm..think of ma sayang..take a deep breath than go in...i saw the receptionist thinking...which women answeres ma call...shish...after filling up the form..i sat down...guo ren was beside me..i was thinking will i get it...than after waiting like for about 20 minute...than dis pregneant lady invite me n guo ren in....ahakz...guo ren to tall bah..hit da cupboard beside him....hahah...nvm bah...i was quite shock also..hmmm...the lady explain to me..she say that next week theres a bridal thingy....that i can take the shoot...ill earn about 400 per shoot...hm but i need an introduction..she say that i have to make a folio...for that have to pay her..190...hmm but can pay deposit first bot 20...hmm but haizz...still considerin....but the folio can last me bout 5 years...imagine a week having 4 shots per week...that will be like 1.6k...hahahahha..rich nia..haizz...dun care bout that now...hmm still considering...haizz....hmmm well tomorow there will be anther suditiong..this time at toa pah yoh..for bridal...thingy..hmm tomorow will be the day...for me to say the answer...haizz..now doing art...haizz..sianzz....hmm cant find pictures..now....hungry nia...haizz...wanna go makn...im like the only boy....about 5 girls here..sianzz..hmm i thought ma fren will b coming..guess not..haizz...may be at night wanna ply ball...ayang miss u larrrrr!!!!!!!!....k lar gota research..bubye...

Hafiz...wth are u thinking...

2006-03-10T23:06:00.000+08:00

OMG....sayang...ia m like so so so so so so so so so sorry....:~(...i take ma own bloody sweet time to call u...ayang i realy am so sorry...ayang wait for me sampaikan tertido....:~(..i bad nia...so so sorry..ayang i feel so bad forgive me hor...i reach home at 10 30...i makn....i bath..than straight away call sayang...ayang...aarrrrgggghhh....i feel so bad....kesiannyer sayang....hafiz arrrggghhh.....u yourself have to blame...aku terhegeh2 sini terhegeh sane.....nabuey wth do u think u are hafiz.....arrghh...sayang sorry nia..:(..ayang sleep well hor.....:`(

dedicate to you..

2006-03-10T15:51:00.000+08:00

Sayang....miss u nia...haizz...love u alot...:D...hmm haha...talk to u juz now...fun nia...atleast got to hear your voice...hmm...juz now got american top model...Nik look like u nia...hahah..so preety...hahah...sleep EARLY hor....ok...dun be notty...study hard ok..dun be like me...bery lazy...hahahk....argh...so tired...love u lots dear....muackzz...good night...wanna go sleep liow...sweet dreams...

hahah..dats ma gerl...

2006-03-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

Sayang u....Sayang good gerl...haha..always ma angel..love u lot sayang...didnt see u today...mizz u alot nia...haizz...muackz...eat hor...ok..later be fit like me...hahahah....n strong like me...:D..muackzzz...love U a WHOLE~ LOTS.....

AAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!DAMN U!!

2006-03-09T22:50:00.000+08:00

Damn he came to ma grandmum house..SHIT!!I hate him...:(..no one can replace him..no one....he died 2 years ago...SO WHAT!!!!!isnt the beautiful memories is wif u...well it still does in ma heart...hes the best...mummy...Y cant u understand..??y cant u understand that he wont fit in the picture...i hate him...I feel like crying...u dont know how i feel...the sudden pain two years ago...the bloody tears that drip to the ground...the cries of agony...i cant forget him mummy...i relly cant...i love him so much...i cant even step the graveyard....do u realise whenever u askes me to go n visit him...its drizzling...i wont let him join my family...our family....:`(.....mummy i hope u understand...atleast...talk to me....

damn im so bored...

2006-03-09T10:38:00.000+08:00

haizzz...no mood to eat....haizz..no fren to talk....sianzz....cant go to school bery sick..too sick...haizz....father ban me from playing basketball....:`(haizz....they dun understand...i dun hab anything else...except for my freinds...my gal...n basketball...haizz...heart pain nia...:(how i wish im not sick.....

sick nia....

2006-03-09T09:48:00.000+08:00

Haizz...losing weight nia...:(...sick...bery sick..haiz...later go makn at teh tarik...miss u nia..badly....ayang..study hard hor....haizz...i tink i got bird flu or wat lah hahah...wth...cause when i sneeze i keep on making bird sound...hahah...wth..like real lor..nothing to do nia haizz...later go makn alone....:(sigh...nvm bah...

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH

2006-03-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

First of of all...ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!....:( sad nia...ma face getting worse...:(..haizz....i run 4 round nia...ma timing is 10 38....ayang..i fit rite..?hahah..strong also...i make sure i win ayang....hahahk...ayang dun b sad ok...next time try harder...Muackz...ayang...hmm today g.r...go tournament...so abit biring ar...hope u win..:)..hmmm later after i sleep go play ball liow leh....fun time...im gona sweat like hell...tomorow ma grand mum b`dae nia....dunno what to gib her...haizz...shes getting thin nia...:(love her bery much nia...haizz...how i wish..i can take care of her...than she cook for me ebryday hahah nice nia...she da bez!!!!juz now lunch time i saw ayang leh...i wave but she neber wave back...bit sad nia...but...i think she neber see...ayang today got dance nia...so...bit time for her only...muackz2....miss u alot nia...haizz....now sitting here rot for awhile...than call ma sayang..hope she reach home nia..hmmm....i think dats it...LOVE U LOTS SAYAAANNG!!!

Tired....

2006-03-07T14:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday/Monday/6 march 2006...

Meet guo ren at teh tahrik...hmm hahax...soori nia..i take my time...hmm then we went gym..at jurong east complex hahahckz...and then...i accidentaly met ma old fren...hahah..than i was like `eh`..than she was like `eh`...than i `eh` again...n say hie...haizz...well all in da pass....I have her now...shes ma life..shes ma happiness...shes ma everything nia...love her alot nia...hahahckz...than after the gym...we went to teh tarik...AGAIN..drink tea o..wooooww....lots of sugar nia....we went to ma court n play basketball...haizz....heart pain nia...hmm i wonder when can i get better..so frustrating...play till 9 plus...hmm or yar...play against 2 philipines...hmm quite good.... lost buy 1 point...hmmm hahah..hahah hope we meet again..than well have our rematch...went home...tired....exhausted...lethargic...hahah...but still got time for her bah....can melt nia ..everytime hear her voice...ahahhackz...love u dear....hmmm than i sleep nia...tired...:D

Today/Tuesday/7 march

Haizz...i worry nia bout ma exam...:(sad...if i fail lagi sad...hmm school like per normal lor....nothing to do..disturb danial...eh danial sorry ar...i punch u...u so adorable...hope i didnt hit u that hard...hahahah...sorry hor...:D..fren..fren bah...haiyaooozz....sian nia...hmm..ayang go dance nia...i sad....takper lar...hahah...hab fun hor...dun over exert yourself ok...n ayang must eat....ok...later ayang sick..later not strong..ok..?love u lots nia...

2006-03-05T17:56:00.000+08:00

aarrrggghhh stress dok